Why the Mountains?

    Why the longing for mountains? Is it the wanting to be cradled like a child, like the spiritual–and miraculous–creation we are? Is it to both love something as inanimate yet alive as nature, and to realize all of life has the ability to love us back?  Is it because we know, deep in…

To Burn a Bridge

      It was 2016 and a terribly dark period at that. I found a way out from a time that was hurting, but in doing so I escaped rather than resolved matters.  I understand why in times of war cities destroy the very bridges.  It prevents the enemy from coming in, but in…

Quiet House (2016, revisited)

Depression to me is a quiet house.   It is held in a shadow box, behind a thick pane of crystal glass. Where if you can peer inside, you will see that there are always dishes in the sink, and a persistent steady drip from the bathroom faucet. The swing set out back rocks gently….

The Unforgiving Man

I was lying in bed, after the night the spirits came to visit again Even after the sun finally came up I couldn’t find the motivation to get up. Consciousness came to my side to talk with me seeing that I needed talking He’s a stoic man, but I can always trust him to be…

I am home, always home.

“Dear friends” is how the monks at Plum Village would address everyone before speaking. I came to hear those words as a reminder to still myself and offer my attention up to others. Hearing this address would always place me in such a position of happiness, a form of happiness that I’ve never felt. I…

The Unlived Life is not Worth Examining

That past is unwavering, it’s done. Regardless of who tells the story, the past is settled and stilled much like the seasons of leaves that have now become the very soil, our natal bedding, below our feet. And while offering recognition to the people and events that brought us to where we are now becomes…

Gamel, believing only takes believing

Sitting on the wall, split in her certainty by her own thinking: for one, looking back to ponder the way that brought her to where she sat on the wall; and for another: considering the route ahead—the vague outline of the route, obscured by a blinding sunlight—This is how I found Gamel when I arrived…

What I’ve always and only known: Fear and Attachment

From bus terminal to bus terminal, from gate to gate, maybe during a week of hiking or a week of navigating a new city, you carried hefty pieces of what seemed to be essential pieces of luggage. Tedious toil it was to lug around these pieces of what you came to refer as  (as) an…

Someday, Bearing Precious Fruit

Apple tree Who knew you such an inspiration?   When at some time growing up, you swore you’d never grow up straight   Now you bear the most precious of fruit.

Between Meds and Madness

Yesterday, I called my brother. I thought he was coming up this weekend so I just wanted to check up on him. Since I had him on the phone we got to talking and catching up.  It had been a while. Phone conversations with my brother start with, “how are you?” And with the same,…